xyugenx's Xanga

Friday, November 09, 2007

Fri, 09 Nov 2007 02:38:09 GMT

For updates on my trip and what's going on before my trip.

Check out:

http://destinationquestionmark.blogspot.com

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Sat, 28 Jul 2007 00:05:27 GMT

Yae Su Sa Rang Hae Yo [Korean Hymn from Urbana 06)

Yae Su Sa Rang Hae Yo
(Jesus, I love You)
Na Ju Ap pe Ap De Ryuh
(I bow down before You)
Kyung Beh Wah Chan Yang
(Praises and worship)
Wang Kae De Li Nae
(To my King)

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Simple and powerful. A perfect way to describe my feelings right now. Despite all the hurting, all the pain and all the stress, You have never failed me. Thank You Jesus!

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Tue, 17 Jul 2007 04:41:11 GMT

Something I read on a article that I thought would be insightful and something I really want to make my own especially in the situation that I'm in now.

'What I've Learned' - Andy Rooney

I've learned . . . that being kind is more important than being right.
I've learned . . . that when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
I've learned . . . that one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow you may have to eat them.
I've learned . . . that I can't choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Wed, 13 Jun 2007 05:46:44 GMT

May the Words of My Mouth
By: Tim Hughes

May the words of my mouth and the thoughts of my heart
Bless Your name, bless Your name, Jesus
And the deeds of the day and the truth in my ways
Speak of You, speak of You, Jesus

For this is what I'm glad to do
It's time to live a life of love that pleases You
And I will give my all to You
Surrender everything I have and follow You
I'll follow You

Lord, will You be my vision, Lord, will You by my guide
Be my hope, be my light and the way
And I'll look not for riches, nor praises on earth
Only You'll be the first of my heart

For this is what I'm glad to do
It's time to live a life of love that pleases You
And I will give my all to You
Surrender everything I have and follow You
I'll follow You

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Sat, 26 May 2007 16:43:44 GMT

Unashamed
By: Starfield

I have not much, to offer You.
Not near what You deserve, but still You come,
Because Your cross, has placed in me my worth.

Oh Christ my King, of sympathy,
Whose wounds secure my peace.
Your grace extends to call me friend.
Your mercy sets me free.

And I know I'm weak, I know I'm unworthy,
To call upon Your name.
But because of grace, because of Your mercy,
I stand here unashamed.

I can't explain this kind of love, I'm humbled and amazed,
That You'd come down, from heaven's heights,
And greet me face to face.

And I know I'm weak, I know I'm unworthy,
To call upon Your name.
But because of grace, because of Your mercy,
I stand here unashamed.

Here I am at Your feet,
In my brokenness, complete.

Enough said. These words really speak for themselves.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Sun, 20 May 2007 22:47:48 GMT

You Alone Are God
By Daryl Black

Lord we are honored
To stand in Your presence
This very hour
Before Your goodness
And all Your glory
Wonder and power

Let every nation sing to the Father of everything
My Creator and King, there is none like You

You alone are worthy (Solo tú eres digno)
You alone are righteous (Solo tú eres justo)
You alone are holy (Solo tú eres santo)
You alone are God (Solo tú eres Dios)

Lord we adore You
For all Your mercy
And all Your grace
We stand in Your presence
With hearts of worship
Seeking Your face

Let every nation sing to the Father of everything
My Creator and King, there is none like You

You alone are worthy (Solo tú eres digno)
You alone are righteous (Solo tú eres justo)
You alone are holy (Solo tú eres santo)
You alone are God (Solo tú eres Dios)

You alone are God is the same line that keeps playing over and and over in my head. I guess I'm at one of those places in my life where I've forgotten my first love. I can't do this on my own and He doesn't want me to do this on my own, so why do I choose to live on my own? I had a good talk with a friend the other day. We were talking about how many often forget to bring things back to God. We take credit for things whether subconciously or conciously. But we shouldn't do that and many of us know that we shouldn't do that. The glory should go back to God. The praise should go back to God. I know I would be nothing without Him. I know I wouldn't be here today without Him, so why do I so quickly forget what He has done for me? Why am I so quick to go back to my old ways'?

For the longest time I've been struggling ... how do I get back on track? I'll admit. I've been extremly lazy. But I guess over this time I've been reminded there's not a step-by-step process that you do to reconnect with God ... you just do it. For once in a long time, I was able to let go of my thoughts, my concerns, my 'beliefs' and genuninely worship God.

This is such a honest post for me. I shouldn't be afraid to post, but I really am. Sad huh? That I'm scared people are going to judge me or think differently of me. But I am not going to allow my fears of judgement or rejection stop me from being terribly vulnerable and honest. And that's something I think the Church as a whole needs. We should not fear our 'family' but we should be able to turn, trust and rely on each other. So I'm taking the chance to be vulnerable. I'm throwing down my pride, my fears, my own insecurities because I believe in the family of God and I believe in a Heavenly Father who loves me more than anything.

Be blessed and remember you always have a Father smiling down on you with outstretched arms (for a hug you simple-minded people. =P) Lots of love! =)

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Sat, 14 Apr 2007 23:31:42 GMT

OK, I lied! I haven't done any work yet! ACK!!

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Sat, 14 Apr 2007 23:04:10 GMT

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! Procrastination!! I need to finish my last and final paper of my first year so that I can reorganize all my binders and start studying for exams!! It's so easy, but why have I been doing NOTHING all day? At Raymond's house while he's at a meeting and I'm just watching the stupid spelling bee. I actually wanted to do this when I was a kid. Man, I was so deprived! Not fair!! OK, I'm just making up more excuses to not study! Must study! I can do it! And so can you! OK, let's go back to working. I will probably start work in 15 min. I promise!! Bye friends! =)

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Thu, 29 Mar 2007 21:29:43 GMT

Crunch time...
    - Three essays (one's late) - History (Done), English (Done), Philosophy
    - One oral test - Philosophy - Done =)
    - One multiple choice test - Psychology - Done
    - Five exams - History, Philosophy, Psychology, English, New Testament
And then first year is over! Well there's summer school, but I have a bit of a break.

Lord, please give us all strength and be our motivation during this time. Be glorified through our studies.

BTW, thanks to all who commented on my sad driving vent. I really appreciate your encouragement.

May you all find strength, motivation, joy, and rest in the Lord. =) Take care!

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Sat, 24 Mar 2007 17:41:34 GMT

You know that feeling where something looks like a breeze and to everyone else it is, but when you try it, you totally suck at it? What makes you feel even worse is that some people are just so naturally good at it and when you try it and practice it, you still can't seem to get the hang of it. And to make matters even worse, you fit the sterotype. What sterotype? That asian women, specifically Chinese women cannot drive. Yup, I'll admit it. I can't drive if my life depended on it. I'm scared of the road ... I hate being behind the wheel ... I have like no eye-hand coordination whatsoever. I just suck at driving. I'm usually good at a lot of things I try, but when it comes to driving I suck everytime. At least I haven't gotten into an accident ... I think it's the side of me that's very scared of hurting the people in the car that I'm with so I'm extra careful or something, but still, I can't control a car very well. How do I master this fear and become a better driver? Well as the cliche says, practice makes perfect. But I don't want to practice. I hate having to be in a car with someone and them telling me, 'you're not doing this right' or this or that. Yah, driving should be a humbling experience, but instead it makes me so angry and frustrated. The more I think about it, the more it seems like God is using my inability to drive to teach me humility. Yes, I'll admit it, I'm an extremly proud person. I do enjoy being right and being naturally good at a lot of things I put my mind to. I'll also admit, I hate being wrong. I'm very stubborn and sometimes inconsiderate of other people's feelings when I'm trying to prove my point. To those people, I'm really sorry. I just get so caught up in the moment. I guess sometimes I really need to learn to shut up and be more sensitive to others. I really don't want to learn to drive, but at the same time, I can do so much if I could drive. It's usually, not all the time, but usually a painful process when God is trying to teach you something. This process is sure going to be painful, but yes, I must go through with it even if I don't want to. Admitting almost defeat in this area is extremly hard for me. It is probably funny if I look at it from a different point of view, but right now, I really don't find it funny at all. *sigh* I have to learn to be a good driver by May 7 because that's when I booked my stupid road test. I wonder if I can do it. Please pray for me and this whole learning process.

To all those that can drive, remember how blessed you are that you can and that you have the opportunity to drive. Lots of people don't have this luxury. Maybe moving to another country may solve my problem. I won't have to learn to drive. And I'm sure in Heaven there are no cars. Sweet! =) Anyway, take care everyone!